Beyond Bar Mitzvah

Hot off the press! Check this out -- a great article in the Philadelphia Inquirer about the program for teen boys that I am working on.

Purim Shpiel 2011 -- Scene 1

Karzai Tallis Collection

PANDER WITH DIGNITY IN A KARZAI TALLIS!

Forgive my cultural insensitivities here, but as I was daydreaming the other day in synagogue I started to look at the many colorful tallisim around the room and I had the thought that Hamid Karzai could walk into this place and not a single person would look twice at his shawl. In fact, the only thing that people would say would be "nice tallis." I google searched and found that the vision I had of his closet was not far off. This guy has got quite the collection.  

Slice Jerusalem like a PIZZA

And now, a moment of zen....

"Devise a solution to Jerusalem that will bring lasting peace and does not slice the city in half as if it were

a pizza" - Jennifer Laszlo Mirachi 

 writing in an op-ed on the JTA.  http://www.jta.org/trackback/2742935

A very Jewy-y Super Bowl

Jew-fro? Yes. Jew? Not-so-much.

Last night I thought that I would have a much needed break from the Jewish world that occupies my thoughts on a daily basis. No Jewish football players on either team, I thought. No Jewish coaches or prominent owners. The game is in Dallas. How Jewish could it be? But the gods of televised sports had other ideas. First up, Glee starlet Lea Michele sings America the Beautiful. Then Joan Rivers is in a Go Daddy spot, the Black Eyed Peas sing "mazel tov" which made it all seem like the world's biggest bar mitzvah, then Richard Lewis and Rosanne Barr in a Snickers ad? Adrien Brody singing for Stella Artois? Throw in a new Spielberg promo, Sharon Osbourne, and Henry Winkler and it adds up to one extremely Jewy Super Bowl night. This morning I heard a rumor that Aaron Rogers celebrates Hannukah....alas, there is no escape.

Milton Rogovin, Zichrono L'vracha

Reading an elevator TV news blurb -- that's how I learned that one of the greatest photographers of the twentieth century had passed. I was somewhat shocked that the Jewish press seems to have missed the death of one of America's most innovative and socially conscious artists -- Milton Rogovin. An optometrist, he developed a photo bug in the 1950s and began to document the social conditions of those who live on the edge in Buffalo, New York. He was a "social documentary" photographer and his triptychs are masterpieces that were replicated by numerous photographers after him.

My friend Ezra Bookstein directed a film about Rogovin in 2007. You can see a clip here as well as many photos and a wonderfully written biography.

Chinese Moms, Jewish Dads

Chinese Moms, Jewish Dads?


The post-dinner- now-the- kids- are- in- the- other- room -and -the –adults- have- two –bottles- of- wine -to -finish-off talk at our Shabbos table this week was, as I imagine it was for many thousands of other parental types, Chinese moms. We had all read the Wall Street Journal article by Yale Law professor Amy Chua (or heard her interviewed on NPR) and her razor sharp attack on “western” moms seems to have kicked up a storm from all of us who have let our children attend sleep-overs, practice their instruments for less than three hours a day, play sports, and worst of all, try out for school plays. (the horror!)

From Chua:

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chinese parents can order their kids to get straight As. Western parents can only ask their kids to try their best. Chinese parents can say, "You're lazy. All your classmates are getting ahead of you." By contrast, Western parents have to struggle with their own conflicted feelings about achievement, and try to persuade themselves that they're not disappointed about how their kids turned out.



Chua also makes reference to a threat that she made regarding Christmas-Hannukah presents in the article and that got us thinking about the silent Jewish father who is, we imagine, kicking back on the couch with the Arts section of the Times while his ‘Chinese mom’ wife berates the children for getting a 97 on a math test. (yes, another nail in the coffin for all the twenty-something Jewish women I’ve met who ask why Jewish men pass them over for Asian women)

The couples around our table all weighed in – and while none of us had the ‘tiger’ qualities of Chua, we all addressed the various demands we have put on our children and the need for both demands and occasional comments that are, well, frank.

So, shabbos afternoon arrives and I curl up with my New Yorker. After I dispense with my usual perusal of the cartoons, I stumble into David Brooks latest piece, Social Animal


Brooks writes: “Intelligence, academic performance, and prestigious schools don’t correlate well with fulfillment, or even outstanding accomplishment…the traits that do make a difference are the ability to understand and inspire people; to read situations and discern the underlying patterns; to build trusting relationships, to recognize and correct one’s shortcomings, and to imagine alternate futures.” And it occurs to me – this piece, by a Jewish dad, is the perfect anti-dote to Chua’s diatribe.

Brooks bolsters his argument from a place of social psychology and biology, citing recent studies that have shed new light on human behavior. This got me thinking: How would Chua respond to Brooks’ piece? Chua might defend her child-raising techniques and say that her children have developed these qualities. But at face value it would seem that calling your child “garbage” or “fatty” is not going to lead to a very trusting relationship. A brutally honest relationship? Maybe...but a trusting one? Highly doubtful. One can imagine Chua and Brooks at the Passover Seder debating the reaction to the Wicked Son.

So, who’s right? Truth likely lies somewhere in between the two polarities – to be demanding without being controlling, to be sensitive without coddling – these are the challenges of parenting.

But I was thinking about both articles this Saturday night as I took my sons to their indoor soccer game.

After the first half, my sons’ team was down 5-1. It was demoralizing. I thought with my “Chua” head– maybe I need to force them to practice more, run two miles a day, call him lazy, that sort of thing. Then I watched as one of my sons decided that he was not going to lose. In the second half he ran full-speed at every ball and the defense couldn’t stop him. He scored four goals, made an assist on another, and got the win. Then I relaxed and patted myself on the back for my less than Chua-like demands – “see, I never yell at him to practice and still he’s playing beautifully” And then something happened that I did not expect.

I was a typical dad, thinking about my kid – about how he had won the game. But when I met him on field after the game, he didn’t think of the win as something that he had accomplished. His first comment was about how his team played better defense in the second half. As he chugged from his water bottle, he went up to one of the defensive players and gave him a high five. The part of me that liked Brooks' model of human success was very happy.

So – what did I learn from these articles? I’m still not sure, and not sure if they will change the ways that I parent. But they did get me thinking about the cultural norms we collectively create and the importance of talking, preferably over a glass of wine and some rugelach, about what they mean when applied to each one of our quirky and wonderful children. On the other hand, maybe I should stop writing and go downstairs and yell at them to practice the violin. It will be all that better as I yell because none of my children play violin. yet.

------------------------------
For more on the Tiger Moms check out:
http://www.jta.org/trackback/2742698

Snow Schmooze

Despite a half foot of snow falling on Gotham, Schmooze is on. I'm heading into join a fine team of folks speaking about "Next Generation" things in the marketing seminar.

Generation F

For those interested in the next generation of young Jews, here's a great Jewish Week piece on the subject titled "Generation F" .....fluidity.

New Jersey's Jewish News on my big news.....

 

Newspaper clippings...delightfully old school. My favorite newspaper, the New Jersey Jewish News ran an article this week about my new position at Moving Traditions. (Thank you Andrew and Johanna -- for this and for all your local coverage!) 

Nice press in the Jewish Exponent

Philadelphia's Jewish newspaper has a short piece on my big news. The Exponent was stellar when it came to covering the work of Birthright Israel NEXT in Philly, including doing a great piece on the Shore House.

Sharing some big news

For Immediate Distribution

Contact:

Deborah Meyer

Executive Director, Moving Traditions



RABBI DANIEL BRENNER TO LEAD MOVING TRADITIONS’ INITIATIVE FOR BOYS AND MEN

As organization nears 10,000 Jewish girls in Rosh Hodesh: It’s A Girls Thing! leader is appointed to champion new educational approach for teenage boys

Jenkintown, PA—Monday, November 29, 2010—Moving Traditions, the Philadelphia-based non-profit that focuses on the intersection of gender and Judaism and has been a pioneer in the field of Jewish education for teenage girls has appointed Rabbi Daniel Brenner to lead the organization’s efforts for teenage boys. Rabbi Brenner, who since 2007 has served as the founding executive director and the chief of education and programming for Birthright Israel NEXT, will assume the role on January 3, 2011.



Rabbi Brenner’s appointment follows Moving Traditions’ release of Engaging Jewish Teenage Boys: A Call to Action, a comprehensive report offering seven lessons and seven principles to help Jewish educators more effectively inspire teenage boys to stay connected to Jewish life. Distilled from three years of research, 40 focus groups with Jewish boys, and extensive program development, the reports finds that putting boys’ developing masculinity – their journey to manhood – at the center of male-focused Jewish programming will keep more boys engaged in Jewish life beyond bar mitzvah.

“I am extremely pleased to announce the addition of Rabbi Daniel Brenner to the Moving Traditions staff,” said Deborah Meyer, Executive Director of Moving Traditions. “With his deep knowledge of Judaism and the Jewish community and his success in launching an innovative national program, Daniel is perfectly suited to enlist policy makers, funders, parents, clergy and educators in Moving Traditions’ Call to Action to more effectively meet the needs and interests of Jewish teenage boys.”


Brenner is anticipating a challenge.

“This is the Jewish community’s biggest blind spot,” Brenner stated. “Participation by young men in Jewish life outside of Orthodox circles declines rapidly at age fourteen and never truly picks up. The time has come to train educators to address the ethical and developmental issues that are relevant to young men post-bar mitzvah, to introduce new approaches to the intellectual and spiritual traditions for men found in Jewish life, and to bring Jewish women and men together to address changing gender roles and shared responsibilities.”

Rabbi Brenner brings two decades of experience in teen and young adult education, including work with inner-city youth at the Fresh Air Fund, and in Jewish summer camping, including Camp Ramah and JCC Camps. Prior to ordination at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, Brenner served in synagogues as educational director, youth advisor, and teacher in Hebrew High School and he worked with Israeli teens at Kibbutz Gezer. Following rabbinical school, Brenner served on the faculties of CLAL–The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership and the Auburn Theological Seminary, where he created a multi-faith curriculum for the international teen youth program, Face to Face/Faith to Faith. Rabbi Brenner’s work with men includes volunteer prison chaplaincy with Jewish men at the Montgomery County Correctional Facility in Pennsylvania and teaching in a Master’s degree program at Sing Sing Prison. He is also the father of two sons and a daughter.

Sally Gottesman, Chair of Moving Traditions, has known Rabbi Brenner since the late 1990s when he served on the faculty of CLAL. She added, “With Daniel’s leadership, Moving Traditions will enable the Jewish community to keep more Jewish teenage boys engaged in Jewish life by helping them explore who they are as Jews and as young men – thereby strengthening the Jewish future.”



About Moving Traditions

Moving Traditions inspires women and men, boys and girls to engage more deeply with Judaism. Gender serves as our framework because it is shaped by culture and thereby defines who we are and who we can become. Moving Traditions’ logo incorporates the word masorot (traditions) because of our belief that every generation is called to move Judaism forward while remaining true to its profoundly moving traditions.

Jewish New Media Innovation Fund

While in a meeting on a much more serious proposal to the Jewish New Media Fund, I had a vision.

Provocative Poetry

You know that other kind of poetry, right? The non-provocative kind....well, this ain't that. This is pro-vocative. Positively inclined to vocate at any given moment. OK, OK, enough riffing on the title, I get it.  I am honored to be reading this coming Friday night at B'nai Keshet in Montclair NJ with some serious poets:


Jessica de Koninck ‘s collection, Repairs, is published by Finishing Line Press. Her poems appear in anthologies such as The Breath of Parted Lips, Voices from the Frost Place, Vol. II, Mischief, Caprice and Other Poetic Devices and in journals. Poems appear in The Valparaiso Poetry Review, Bridges, The Paterson Literary Review, US 1 Worksheets, the Edison Literary Review, Lips and elsewhere.   Her work has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize.   A resident of Montclair and former Councilwoman, she is a graduate of Brandeis University and Boston University School of Law, counsel to the South Orange–Maplewood public schools and anticipates receiving her MFA from Stonecoast in January 2011.

Deborah Garrison is the poetry editor of Alfred A. Knopf and a senior editor at Pantheon Books. Prior to joining the Knopf Publishing Group in 2000, she spent fourteen years at The New Yorker magazine, where she edited both fiction and nonfiction and wrote criticism for the books section. She is the author of A Working Girl Can’t Win and Other Poems (1998) and The Second Child (2007). Her poems and pieces about poetry have appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times Book Review, Slate, and other journals.  Garrison is also Education Vice President at Bnai Keshet.

Martin Golan’s short-story collection, Where Things Are When You Lose Them, explores the losses that come with any life lived fully and well. The book is a follow-up to his novel, My Wife’s Last Lover. He works as an editor at Reuters, and is also a private writing coach. He’s published poetry, fiction, and essays in many magazines, among them Poet Lore, Fiction Warehouse, and Bitterroot, where he served as associate editor for several years working closely with legendary poet and mystic Menke Katz. His latest published work, a poem soon to appear in the magazine Lips, addresses the similarities between a singles’ bar and reading poetry in public, such as a Friday night service at a Montclair synagogue.  Golan is a Verona resident.

Madeline Tiger’s tenth collection of poems, The Atheist’s Prayer, appeared from Dos Madres Press, (Spring, 2010); her other recent collections are The Earth Which Is All (2008) and Birds of Sorrow and Joy: New and Selected Poems, 1970-2000(2003). Her work appears regularly in journals and anthologies. She has been teaching in state programs and private workshops since 1973 and has been a “Dodge Poet” since 1986. She lives in Bloomfield, NJ, under a weeping cherry tree.

Dream Come True

Growing up in North Carolina, basketball was a huge part of my childhood. I played driveway ball everyday after school with my neighbors and played for the Temple Israel team in the Church League. During the 70s and 80s, before we had pro teams in Charlotte, ACC college basketball players were our heroes. We went crazy in '83 when NC State won the NCAA and Jimmy V raced around the court in celebration. When Jordan went from Carolina to the pros, we felt as if one of ours had shown that we truly were the best at the sport.

Last night, thanks to Jeff Rosen, owner of the Maccabi Haifa team, I finally had my chance to show off the skills learned on the Glankler's driveway against the pros. After they took on the New Jersey Nets on Sunday, the Haifa team had an open scrimmage sponsored by a few Jewish organizations (thank you Metrowest Federation) and I got to play with Avi (pictured here) and the other guys. It was a great time -- thank you to all involved!

p.s. Sylven Landsberg (no 13 in the first photo) played in the ACC for Virginia...here's a massive dunk he threw down in his college days.

Genesis.....

Occasionally the internet gods bless me with a 'stumble upon' --- a moment when I come across an article or video that I never intended to find. The video link below is one such wacky gift -- with music composed by a German by the name of Daniel Brenner. And it is perfect timing -- Coming as it does right before we Jewish folk roll the entire Torah and start again, with the beginning. Here is a contemporary commentary on the Creation....

http://vimeo.com/9500433

Enjoy

Sukkah City

Moments of brilliance in the creative arts are rare in the Jewish world. (although last week's Galeet Dardashti performance at Le Poisson Rouge was quite amazing)so praise is due to the men (and the organization - Reboot) behind Union Square Park's latest display, Sukkah City. Foer, Cove, and Bennett have concocted this brief explosion of Jewish arts - spun out by artists Jewish and not who worked within the confines of sukkah making. (I love most of them, but "Log" is my personal favorite)


Sukkah City is perfect as it is - a display of architectural creativity that uses organic elements. But I did think of some potential side commentaries that might evolve:

1) A menu for each sukkah that matches the artistic qualities of the structure.
2) A folktale for each sukkah that conjures up something about the artistic theme.
3) A soundscape for each sukkah -- could be very minimalistic...could be just noises or could be symphonic works, or live band playing on handcrafted organic instruments.
Sadly, only one of these sukkot will stay up during the actual holiday, and I imagine that the sukkah that Chabad will be putting up will be of the pre-fab, aluminum pole rectangular variety. (ball is in your court, Chabad -- how about stepping up and designing a sukkah-city type model this year?)


Anyways -- go see this before it is taken down this evening!

A Poem for Kol Nidrei

Kol Nidrei

Men in white space suits sucking asbestos out of the basement

All the vows
All the promises
All the words that passed across my lips
Let them be as if they never were

Every speck of it suctioned into the long curling accordion tube and out into the hazard container on the back of the truck

All the vows
All the promises
All the words that passed across my lips
Let them be as if they never were

The hum of the negative air filtration system

All the vows
All the promises
All the words that passed across my lips
Let them be as if they never were

When they leave, I go down the stairs,
the once rusty, encapsulated pipes
skinny, painted white,
a skeleton.

Rosh Hashannah Predictions 5771

Please note that all of these predictions are within a margin of error
of +/- 2 percent. Enjoy! Daniel

ROSH HASHANNAH PREDICTIONS 5771


78% of people will pay more attention to the stickers that say
“This prayer book donated in memory of” than the actual prayers.

34% of American three-year-olds will make mildly annoying shofar
noises on the car ride home.

67% of rabbis will say with great sincerity the words “t’shuvah means
more than repentance” but never actually get to the part where they
explain what else it means.

62% of husbands will call out to wives “where are the f*@#ing tickets?”

82% of male worshippers in Reform synagogues will spend the New Year
staring at the assistant rabbis’ curves.

67% of worshippers in Conservative synagogues will whisper "what page
are we on?" at least twelve times during the service. 82% of those
questioned will have no idea.

73% of female worshippers in Orthodox synagogues will experience hat envy.

81% of worshippers in Reconstustionist synagogues will wonder why
after twenty years they are still meeting in a moldy church.

45% of men who take medication for erectile dysfunction will close
their eyes during the Shema.

36% of residents of the Twin Cities area will say, under their breath,
“the brisket is a little dry.”

28% of shofar blowers in the Mid-Atlantic states will lift the shofar
skywards and have to adjust their tallis.

48% will prefer the honey cake with the little crushed walnuts.

100% of Jewish poets will imagine the “Who shall live and who shall
die” liturgy as a Mad Lib.

17% of Jewish Women International members will inadvertently send
musical Rosh Hashannah e-cards to their entire list of email contacts.

Honey wholesalers will once again experience the 2% “Jew-bump”

91% of all Jews will feel that services ran “about an hour too long.”
88% of them will blame it on the rabbi.

22% of Jewish grandmothers will leave messages for their grandchildren
on voice mail – and know that they are home. 99% of them will be home.

Only 24% of Jews over the age of ten will spill wine or grape juice on
their clothing.

84% of the Jewish population will have that awkward moment when
someone whose face you recognize but name you have totally forgotten
waves, smiles and asks “how are you?”

74% of all people who do a responsive reading will enter into the
gates of repentance.


- Daniel S. Brenner

Break-the-fast

Food pantries run low over the summer months and the collective contributions of those of us who are marking the High Holidays can make a big difference. Here's a little video that is part of an effort I am working on to feed those who are in need this season.